The following took place between 8:33 and 8:38 AM. I have taken some liberties due to gaps in memory and suboptimum snooping positioning for the first few minutes of the conversation. I was eventually able to move closer.
Twenty-something GUY, who would be good looking were it not for his receding chin and overbite, and GIRL, average-to-frumpy looking and in her mid-twenties, are sitting at the front of the 86 bus talking. Girl is holding a copy of the Economist. Guy is turned around in his seat to talk to her. They know each other from a grad school class, though she clearly wishes they didn’t.
GUY: You did really well on the last test.
GIRL: How would you know?
GUY: I was sitting right behind you. I was cheating off of you.
GIRL: No you weren’t.
GUY: No I wasn’t. You need to write bigger next time…You have very nice, tiny penmanship.
GIRL: No I don’t. I have Catholic school penmanship.
GUY: Is it true they hit you with rulers?
GIRL: What? Please stop talking. (Holds magazine up to cover her face.)
GUY: So you won’t even look at me now?
GIRL: No one is interested in hearing our conversation. (Not true. I am)
GUY: What do you and your friend talk about in the class? What’s her name? Mary?
GIRL: It’s Heather.
GUY: I’m going to call her Mary.
GIRL: She’s not going to like that.
GUY: It’s OK. We never talk in class anyway. You talk to everyone in that class. You’re like social butterfly.
GIRL: Yeah, I make friends easily.
GUY: So let’s be friends.
GIRL: No.
GUY: You want to form a study group?
GIRL: What? No. You’re doing worse than me. Why would I want to be in a study group with you?
GUY: You’re doing better now, but you might need me.
GIRL: No.
GUY: I think the class is going to get harder.
GIRL: I don’t care.
GUY: Dividends, bumper stocks, money stuff, financial terms. (Some liberties have been taken with the previous statement.)
GIRL: Please shush.
GUY: Did you just shush me? This isn’t a library.
GIRL: It’s early. No one wants to hear our conversation. (Again, false.)
GUY: So what do you usually do on the bus in the morning?
GIRL: Sit quietly and read.
GUY: You never talk? I see you talking sometimes.
GIRL: I talk to my friend Charlie sometimes. He works at Newbury Comics. He’s like really punk rock. He’s really cool,
GUY: Is that what you’re into on the weekends? Punk rock?
GIRL: Oh yeah.
GUY: You spike your hair and wear the heavy eye makeup and everything?
GIRL: Yup.
GUY: That’s weird for a Republican.
GIRL: What?
GUY: It’s OK. I’m a Republican, too. Do you watch a lot of FOX News?
GIRL: Oh my God. Shut up.
GUY: We have so much in common.
GIRL: Yes, we do.
GUY: I don’t know why you fight it.
GIRL: Wait, no. We don’t. We have nothing in common.
GUY: I really think we should form a study group.
GIRL: When are you getting off?
GUY: The next stop I guess.
GIRL: OK.
Public transportation rocks! Happy belated Earth Day!!!!
