Cleverly disguised as a Pittsburgh cell phone number, this number actually belongs to an evil baby-eating telemarketer. I’m sure you are familiar.
The call begins with a brief delay as the recorded message clicks on. Then, “BWWWWWAAAAAAAAAARRRRR”–a fog horn rumble explodes from your phone and smacks your ear drum upside its head, causing you to spill your extra hot grande caramel macchiato on your lap. As you are tending to your 2nd degree burns, a jolly, yet authoritative, voice crunches through the receiver. “This is your captain speaking. You’ve been selected to receive a free trip to Nassau, Bahamas.” (At this point I hang up so I don’t know what happens next but I’m pretty sure it involves giving your social security number, mother’s maiden name and major account numbers.)
I just thought I’d share the phone number with you so that you don’t waste valuable time and espresso beverage answering the call.
This had been my good deed of the month. You’re very welcome. Now, if you’ll please excuse me, I have to go run a pyramid scheme or something to get all this good karma off of me.
