A Ukrainian bride-to-be living in the UK, hundreds of miles from her family and friends, has placed an ad on a free classifieds website seeking 30 guests for her wedding, according to the BBC. Sad for her, but a great opportunity for you if you happen to call London home. This is your chance to gorge on shrimp cocktail and multi-tiered cake, show off your mad electric slide skills, play tonsil hockey with members of the wedding party! This is your chance to live the dream!
Or is it, wannabe vincevaughnowenwilson?
Turns out if you want an invite to the party, you’ll need to apply. “Volunteers have to send a photograph and write about themselves, but in return they get invited to the reception,” the BBC reports.
Back the trolley up. Volunteers have to submit photos?
What a fantastic idea! I think I’ve just hatched a genius wedding plot. First, you’ll need to plan a destination wedding far away from your friends and family so that most of them will be unable to attend–preferably someplace with super attractive locals (e.g. Brazil, Greece, Whitney Port’s version of New York). Don’t worry! Wedding etiquette dictates that those who can’t come still have to send gifts, so you’ll still get that set of art deco-inspired shrimp forks your registered for from your real, average-looking friends (who will of course be dearly missed).
Next, find out where the beautiful people from your wedding locale like to hangout. If you’ve picked your spot carefully, you’re job should be easy because the answer will be everywhere. You’ll then need to recruit the most chiseled, luminous and great ones to come to your wedding. If you have the budget for it, you might want to raffle off a sexy new muscle car or something else shiny, though an open bar should be enough to entice most of them. Finally, get married while basking in the glow of your faux friends’ hotness. Just think of how great you’re wedding memories will automatically be! How much better they’ll be than if your real friends were there ruining your photos with their ugly mugs! I mean, it’s your big day, not theirs. So if you want your wedding album to look like a Ralph Lauren ad campaign, that’s what you should get. Because that, dearly beloved, is what marriage is all about.
